


The Salad Days When Our World Was One Block Wide

by pepsicola



Category: South Park
Genre: Childhood Innocence, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-19 04:16:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29744856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepsicola/pseuds/pepsicola
Summary: Back in the days when Tricia and Ike were too young and oblivious to see the path they were talking down together.
Relationships: Ike Broflovski & Tricia Tucker, Ike Broflovski/Craig Tucker's Sister, Ruby Tucker/Ike Broflovski, Tricia Tucker/Ike Broflovski
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. Salad Days

“Can I marry you?”

Tricia—or as Ike liked to call her: Ruby—turned her strawberry blonde head towards Ike. They were sitting in the sandbox of her backyard together. She slowly placed down her pink plastic shovel. She blinked her pale green eyes twice, tilted her head to the left, then promptly questioned in a casual tone, “Why?”

Ike responded with a simple answer. “Because if I asked Karen, who would Firkle have?”

“That’s true.” Ruby put her chin in her hand. Her face pinched as she thought. Her nose was sunburned. They’d been outside since nine in the morning when Ike’s parents dropped him off so they could go to some event for Dad’s job. Initially, Kyle was supposed to look after him. Being twelve, he thought he was too cool to babysit his younger brother. He didn’t want him around when he hung out with his friends. It was well past noon.

“We’re only eight though,” Ruby said.

“I’m seven,” Ike corrected. “And I’ll marry you when we’re older, and when I have money. I just wanna make sure that when I grow up, I have a wife.”

Ruby nodded. “Oh yeah.” She looked Ike in the eye. “Sure, I’ll marry you. But you have to ask my daddy for permission first.”

Ike sat back, his palms in the sand. His face contorted in confusion. He wrinkled his freckled nose. “Well, why?”

Ruby picked up her shovel again and resumed the sloppy sandcastle she was trying to salvage from crumbling. “Because that’s how it is in that one song. Or those two songs, actually. You have to ask the daddy for permission to marry his daughter. You have to get a blessing.”

Ike laughed. He stopped when Ruby pinned him with a glare. He said, “It sounds old-fashioned. I’ve never heard anyone ask the dad for a blessing.”

Frustrated with the sandcastle, Ruby sliced through it with the shovel. She tossed it aside. “You just have to do it.”

“I don’t get why.”

Ruby’s voice took on a whine. “You  _ have  _ to.”

Ike dusted off the sand sticking to his palms. He scratched his head. “Okay,” he said.

Ruby brightened. She held out her hand. Ike took it and blushed. She pulled him up. He looked down at his bare feet as she led him into the house.

Ruby dragged him by the hand into the living room where her dad was sitting. He was watching a movie on the TV. Mr. Tucker saw his daughter and smiled. “Hello, sweetie,” he said.

“Daddy, Ike has something to ask you,” she said.

She let go of his hand and jumped up on the couch next to her dad. They stared at him. Ike felt his cheeks warm under their gazes. He shuffled his feet. “Umm…” He hesitated. He threw a desperate look at Ruby. She just shrugged. She sat back, picking at her chipped nail polish.

“Um,” Ike started again. He glanced at Mr. Tucker. He seemed so scary. He was a tall man and his shadow stretched to the ends of the Earth. He had a mean face, but Ike knew that Mr. Tucker was really a nice man. That didn’t mean he was easier to talk to though.

Ike got distracted watching Ruby. She was tugging her hair ties from her pigtails. Her face screwed up in pain. She muttered a soft “Ow” when a piece of hair got caught in the elastic.

Ike turned his eyes back to Mr. Tucker. “Um… May I have permission to marry your daughter?”

He did it. He finally asked. That wasn’t so bad after all.

Ike stood straighter at the newfound confidence.

Mr. Tucker’s eyes got big. He wasn’t angry but surprised.

From the kitchen, Mrs. Tucker’s head popped into the living room. She traded a look with her husband. Mrs. Tucker smiled. Mr. Tucker looked back to Ike. He smiled too. It was the same soft smile as the one his wife gave him.

“Of course! It would be an honor,” he said.

Ike grinned gratefully. His missing front tooth was on full display. He’d lost it two weeks ago. “Thank you,” he said.

Ruby leaped to Ike from the couch and hugged him. She kissed his cheek. He blushed again. “See?” she said. “It wasn’t that hard.”

“I guess so,” Ike agreed.

“Kids, come to have dinner now,” Mrs. Tucker called.

Ike and Ruby ran to the table, sitting next to each other. Craig and Tweek came racing in from upstairs.

As Mrs. Tucker prepared their plates, Ruby stuck her fingers in her mouth. She twisted her hand around. Then she lowered her hand. Her eyes were wide. She stared at Ike. She held up her tooth to him. It was the sharp vampirish one.

“I pulled out my tooth,” she said. “Mommy, I pulled out my tooth!”

“Did it hurt?” Ike asked. It hurt when Dad pulled it out for him.

“Nope,” Ruby said. She smiled, showing off the gap in her bottom row of teeth.

“We’re twins now,” Ike said. He showed her his tooth too. He stuck the tip of his tongue through the gap.

Mrs. Tucker gave Ruby a napkin. She tilted her daughter’s face up at her. Ruby grinned again. “Am I still pretty, Mommy?”

“You’re always pretty.” Mrs. Tucker kissed Ruby’s forehead.

“We’re becoming adults,” Ruby said when her mom walked back to the stove.

Craig snorted.

She shot him a glare. “We are!” she said.

Craig shrugged. “I didn’t say you weren’t.” He lifted his fork and shoved in a mouthful of pasta.

Ruby put her tooth on her napkin. “I’ll put it under my pillow for the tooth fairy tonight. I hope she’ll give me two dollars.”

“Wow, you got two dollars?” Ike asked. “I didn’t get any money.”

Ruby took a bite of her pasta. Ike copied her. She said, “If I get two dollars, I’ll share it with you. Then we’ll be closer to having money for our wedding.”


	2. When Our World Was One Block Wide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [mary's song (oh my my my) // taylor swift](https://youtu.be/9TCRiGA1A2U)

When Tricia was nine, Ike was eight. They were in her backyard, the sun high above them. Her family was hosting a summer party, and her and Craig’s friends were invited. Their parents had to come too, but that was okay. Karen was inside like everyone else, playing dress up with Kenny, so it was just the two of them outside under the sunlight. Ike and Tricia were playing tag, and she was using her long limbs to her advantage. She had reached out and barely caught the back of his shirt.

“Tag!” she’d exclaimed.

Ike stopped running, groaning. It’d taken him forever to tag her back. It wasn’t fair. She was growing faster than he was. “I’m going to beat you up, Ruby,” he snapped.

She taunted him, “Do it then.” She stuck her tongue out at him.

His face reddened. His fingers twitched at his sides, but they stayed there. After a minute, he crossed his arms, tipped his head up, and said, “No.”

“Why?” she asked.

“I’m not hitting a girl, and I’d never hit  _ you _ ,” he said stubbornly.

“Why?” she repeated.

“Because you’re my friend. I don’t want to hit my friend.” He uncrossed his arms and sat down on the grass, tucking his little eight-year-old legs under him. He pulled at the freshly mowed lawn, tearing out blades in that childish way. Flowers bloomed into bright petals, making the air smell sweet.

She was touched by his words, but there was no way she was admitting that to him. Boys were gross at that age. So instead she continued to tease him. “You’re just scared that I’ll beat you.”

“No I’m not!” Ike threw a handful of grass at her, but it fell short, fluttering down to her bare feet.

Tricia lowered to her knees and shuffled up to him. Her plaid dress billowed out around her as she sat down. She put her chin in her hand, pouting. “You’re no fun.” She blew a wisp of hair out of her face.

Her dad stepped through the glass sliding doors, holding a Ziploc bag full of frozen patties. He said, “I’m going to make some burgers for lunch. Sound good?”

Tricia sprung to her feet. “Yay!” She ruffled Ike’s hair happily. He made a sound of protest under her fingers. “I love your burgers, Dad!”

Her dad chuckled. “I know, Princess.” He got the barbeque started and threw the patties on the grill. They sizzled and crackled, and soon, the smell attracted the rest of the guests outside. It was one of those rare occurrences when everyone forgot their grudges and got along. The dads were holding beers, the moms talking, and the kids waving wooden swords in the air.

“I challenge you, Tweek!” Craig said, pointing his sword at his boyfriend. Tweek scowled, looking frightful with his own sword gripped in his hand.

“Challenge accepted!” He charged at Craig with a warcry, sword held out in front of him. The fake weapons clashed, chips of wood flying off.

They waged their battle, and the other boys joined in. There was playful yelling and laughing. Kenny drifted out of the doors, wearing one of Tricia’s princess tiaras. Karen stood by his side, wearing a dress-up dress Tricia gave her. A smaller tiara was atop her head. “Now, boys, don’t get your suits dirty. We all have a royal banquet to attend soon,” Kenny scolded.

Eric Cartman stepped away from Kyle, who was hammering him with his sword. “Kenny, you ruined it. We’re not playing Fighters of Zaron right now! We’re playing knights,” he grunted. Kyle batted him with the flat of his sword over the head. “Ow! Kyle, you dumbass!” Eric exclaimed. He whipped back around and started to pummel him back.

Kenny rolled his eyes. “It doesn’t have to be Fighters of Zaron. Now let me be a prince,” he said. He stepped onto the grass, marching over to Butters, who bowed as soon as he saw him.

Karen approached Tricia and Ike, floating with enough elegance to pass for a real princess. “Wanna play with us? Ruby, you can be a princess too! Ike can be a knight or a prince!” she chirped.

Tricia traded a look with Ike. “Sure!” she said.

All changed and wearing a princess dress, Tricia stood in between Kenny and Karen. Ike kneeled in front of her, head down. Tricia tapped the wooden sword she was holding to his each of his shoulders. “Sir Ike, I hereby dub you head knight of the Kingdom of Jewels. You will protect me from the evils of this world. Do you swear that you will guard me from all dangers?” she asked.

“I swear on my life, Your Highness, Princess Ruby,” he promised.

“Your sword, good knight” Tricia said. She spoke regally, and she couldn’t lie—she loved it. She understood why Kenny wanted to be a princess at her age.

Ike took the sword from her. He bowed once more before turning to the sea of twelve-year-olds that stood watching. Their parents also looked on, enjoying the entertainment while they waited for their burgers to be ready. He thrusted his sword into the air, and the boys cheered, raising their own swords.

Four of the boys, Kyle, Eric, Stan, and Butters stood apart from the group. They were playing the bad guys, since you needed an opposing team to have any fun. They were Clan Venomous. While everyone was rejoicing, they snuck up to the deck and kidnapped Princess Ruby. Stan clamped a hand over her mouth to keep her from screaming for help. When the others realized Tricia was no longer on the deck, they declared war. From there it was battle after battle, the knights trying to get their princess back from the evil Clan Venomous. There was yelling and cries, and the muted smack of wood against wood.

Tricia was forced to sit on the bench of the picnic table that acted as her “jail cell.” She was enjoying watching everyone go against each other. They were so into it that the faces they made were priceless. She recorded it on her phone, snickering at her screen. Soon, Ike fought his way up to her and “let her out” of her cell. (He really just offered her a hand and pulled her to her feet.) He lifted their joined hands, and shouted that the war was over.

There was more cheering and the bad guys were thrown into jail. They were all so distracted that Tricia decided to say, “You did well, my knight. You protected me, just as you promised. Now I dare you to kiss me.”

Ike gawked at her. His sword slipped out of his loose grip, falling to the grass below them. “Wh—what?” he stuttered.

She shrugged. “That’s what they do in the movies. The knight saves the princess and the princess gives him a magical kiss or whatever,” she explained.

Ike’s cheeks turned red. “Okay,” he squeaked.

He squeezed his eyes shut and slowly leaned forward. Tricia did the same, puckering her lips and shutting her eyes, but they flew open before anything could happen. She squealed at his closeness, running from him to Karen, both girls giggling. Ike stood stunned. They didn’t have a clue that their parents had been watching.

Tricia’s dad announced, “That battle was over just in time. Burgers are ready!”

The older boys whooped and tripped over each other to get to the picnic table that had previously been her “jail.” Tricia and Karen and Ike all sat beside each other. Steaming burgers were set in front of them and their mouths watered. They added whatever they wanted to their burgers and dug in in a very unroyal-like manner. Ike got ketchup on his chin.

The parents sat at their own table. Tricia’s dad said to Ike’s dad, “Those two are going to grow up and fall in love, and they’ll fall hard.”

Mr. Broflovski agreed, and continued to joke about Tricia and Ike. “We’ll be attending their wedding in no time.” Their wives rolled their eyes, smiling.


End file.
